Anxiety is one of the most common reasons people come to see me. It’s not just about feeling worried or stressed—it’s often a very physical experience. The racing heart, tight chest, sweating, shaking, or blushing can make it feel like something is seriously wrong with your body. This can add an extra layer of fear, as many people worry that their anxiety might be visible to others or that it might indicate a more serious health issue.
The truth is, anxiety is a normal part of being human. It’s built into our bodies for a good reason—to keep us safe and alert in times of danger. But when anxiety becomes overwhelming, free-flowing, and shows up at 3 a.m. without warning, it’s no longer helpful. It’s disruptive, exhausting, and can prevent us from living the life we want. The goal of therapy is to help bring that anxiety back into balance, so it shows up in appropriate amounts, only when it’s needed.
Why Do We Feel Anxiety So Intensely?
Anxiety can feel so powerful because it’s rooted in our survival instincts. When our brain perceives a threat, whether it’s real or imagined, it triggers the “fight or flight” response. This response floods the body with adrenaline, preparing us to either confront the danger or run from it. This is why anxiety can feel so physical—it’s your body gearing up for action.
But the modern world is full of stressors that our brains interpret as threats, even though they aren’t life-threatening: deadlines, social situations, health concerns, relationship issues. When these triggers build up, our anxiety can go into overdrive, creating a constant state of alertness and fear that’s hard to shut off.
Finding the Root Cause: The Key to Effective Treatment
Every person’s experience with anxiety is unique, which is why there’s no one-size-fits-all treatment. It’s crucial to identify the root cause of your anxiety to find the most effective way to manage it. Often, anxiety in the present is linked to events from the past, even if those events don’t seem significant on the surface.
In therapy, we work to uncover these connections and understand how past experiences are influencing your current state. This process can be incredibly freeing because it helps you see that your anxiety isn’t just “you”—it’s a learned response that can be unlearned.
The CBT Approach: Challenging Unhelpful Thoughts
One effective approach for managing anxiety is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). CBT focuses on changing the patterns of thinking and behaviour that contribute to anxiety. Here’s how it works:
Reducing Catastrophic Thinking: Anxiety often involves overestimating the likelihood that things will go wrong and underestimating our ability to cope. For example, your mind might jump to the worst-case scenario in a stressful situation, making it feel overwhelming.
Remember the 3 P’s:
It’s not Permanent: Remind yourself that this feeling or situation won’t last forever. Emotions are temporary and always changing.
It’s not Pervasive: Anxiety can make problems seem like they’re affecting every aspect of your life. Take a step back and see the bigger picture—what else is going well right now?
It’s not Personal: Many stressors are not a reflection of your worth or abilities. Practice self-compassion and remember that challenges are a part of life, not a flaw in you.
What else works?
Creating Perspective: Learn to view your thoughts as just one perspective, not the absolute truth. Your mind might be giving you a very narrow, negative view of a situation. Try to consider other angles. What would a friend say about this situation? Is there evidence that supports a more balanced view?
Worry Time: Set aside a specific time each day to focus on your worries. This practice, known as “worry time,” helps you contain your anxiety and prevent it from intruding into every moment of your day. By giving your worries a designated space, you can learn to tell them, “Not right now,” when they come up outside of worry time.
Using EMDR to Reprocess Anxiety Triggers
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) was initially developed to treat trauma but has since been found effective for a wide range of issues, including anxiety and panic disorders. In EMDR, we work with the idea that anxiety in the present can be like an “electrical storm” triggered by past events. These past experiences create networks of memory and association that link current situations to old, unresolved feelings.
For example, if you experienced significant criticism or rejection in the past, your mind might react to any kind of feedback with intense anxiety, as if it were the same situation. EMDR helps reprocess these old memories, changing their emotional impact and reducing their influence on your current life. It’s like updating your brain’s software so it no longer responds to present situations based on outdated information.
Integrating Other Techniques for Lasting Change
EMDR can be combined with other approaches, like hypnotherapy or Internal Family Systems (IFS), to address anxiety on multiple levels. Hypnotherapy can help access subconscious patterns that contribute to anxiety, while IFS can help you understand and harmonize different parts of yourself that may be in conflict. These methods can provide deeper healing and create a sense of inner calm and resilience.
Breaking the Cycle of Anxiety and Unhelpful Habits
Anxiety doesn’t just affect your mind—it can also lead to behaviours that keep you stuck in a loop. Many people try to self-medicate their anxiety with substances, food, or other habits that offer temporary relief but ultimately make things worse. In therapy, we work to identify these patterns and find healthier ways to cope, so you can live in alignment with what truly matters to you.
You Are Not Alone: Seeking Support is a Sign of Strength
It’s important to remember that anxiety is incredibly common, and you’re not alone in your struggle. Seeking therapy is a proactive step towards taking control of your life and finding balance. You don’t have to live with overwhelming anxiety—it’s possible to rewire your mind, change your patterns, and create a calmer, more fulfilling life.
If you’re ready to take that step, contact me to learn more about how therapy can help you find relief and restore balance. You deserve to feel comfortable in your own skin, to have meaningful relationships, and to go to bed feeling proud of your choices and fulfilled in your life.
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