One of the most common problems people face is the inability to “switch off” their minds. Whether it’s racing thoughts, lingering worries, or unresolved emotions, these mental intrusions can make it feel impossible to relax and be present. Many people find themselves caught in a cycle of trying to push away these thoughts and feelings, only to have them return stronger than before.
For those who relate to this struggle, Rumi’s poem “The Guest House” offers a powerful perspective on how to relate to your thoughts and emotions differently. It suggests that rather than fighting or avoiding them, we should welcome them as temporary visitors. This is easier said than done, of course, especially when certain thoughts or emotions keep coming back and refuse to leave.
Here is the poem “The Guest House” by Jalaluddin Rumi, translated by Coleman Barks:
The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
Why Avoidance Doesn’t Work: The Hidden Cost of Pushing Things Away
When we’re overwhelmed by emotions like anxiety, sadness, or anger, our natural instinct is often to avoid them. We distract ourselves with work, social media, or any number of activities that keep us from feeling what’s really going on inside. But this avoidance comes at a cost. It’s like trying to hold a beach ball underwater—the more you push down, the more forcefully it pops back up.
The effort involved in avoiding and running from your emotions is exhausting. It takes up valuable energy that could be spent on more meaningful pursuits, like connecting with loved ones, enjoying your hobbies, or simply being at peace. Instead, you end up in a constant battle with your mind, trying to control what you think and feel, but never quite succeeding.
The Problem with Suppression: Why You Can’t Just “Push Things Out”
The reason you can’t just push thoughts and feelings out of your mind is because they’re not just random intrusions—they’re signals from your internal world. Emotions are messengers, and they usually show up for a reason. They might be indicating something that needs your attention, whether it’s an unresolved issue from the past or a current need that’s not being met.
Trying to ignore or suppress these emotions doesn’t make them go away; it often makes them louder and more persistent. You may have noticed this yourself: the more you try to push a thought or feeling away, the more it seems to take over. This is because your mind is wired to seek resolution. If you don’t address the root cause of an emotion, it will keep coming back, hoping you’ll finally listen.
Why Rumi’s Poem Matters: Welcoming All of Your Feelings
Rumi’s “The Guest House” invites us to take a different approach: to welcome our emotions as guests, even if they’re difficult or painful. This doesn’t mean you have to enjoy them, but rather that you acknowledge their presence and allow them to be. By doing this, you free yourself from the exhausting cycle of resistance and avoidance.
The poem suggests that every emotion has something to teach us, even the ones that feel destructive or overwhelming:
“He may be clearing you out for some new delight.”
This line reminds us that even when emotions seem to tear us apart, they may be making space for something new—insight, growth, or healing.
Understanding Recurrent Emotions: The Root Cause and Therapy
If you find that certain emotions are regular visitors, it’s worth exploring why. Often, these recurring emotions are linked to past experiences that haven’t been fully processed. They’re like old software running in the background, using up your mental energy and preventing you from focusing on what really matters.
Therapeutic approaches like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), Internal Family Systems (IFS), and mindfulness-based therapies can help you get to the root cause of these recurring emotions. They provide tools to process and release these old patterns, making room for more peace and clarity in your present life.
Why Therapy Can Help: Rewiring Your Response to Emotions
EMDR: Helps reprocess past traumas and distressing memories, reducing their emotional charge and influence on your present life. It’s like clearing out the old files that keep causing system errors.
Internal Family Systems (IFS): Allows you to identify and heal different parts of yourself that may be stuck in past pain. By working with these parts, you can transform how you respond to your emotions and create more internal harmony.
Mindfulness and Acceptance: Teaches you to observe your thoughts and emotions without getting caught up in them. This helps you develop the ability to sit with discomfort and let emotions pass naturally, without the need to push them away.
Moving Forward: Making Space for Peace
The next time you find yourself overwhelmed by emotions or unable to switch off your mind, remember that avoidance isn’t the solution. It’s like running from your own shadow—it only tires you out and keeps you from enjoying the light.
Instead, try welcoming your emotions, just as Rumi suggests. See them as temporary visitors, not permanent residents. You might be surprised at how much energy you free up and how much easier it becomes to focus on what truly matters to you.
And if certain emotions feel like they’re constantly overstaying their welcome, consider seeking support.
Therapy can help you understand and heal these deeper patterns, giving you the freedom to live your life with more ease, presence, and joy.
Contact me for a 15 minute free consultation - info@emmasolomonpsychologist.com
Kommentare